gettin over with…

People may think that being in love is the best thing that will ever happen to someone else’s life…but for me, being in love is insane!!! I’ve had a lot of experiences already trying to prove to myself that, someday I will find my one true love….unfortunately, I think it will never happen… You know, I had two children with two different men… and right now I am trying to forget someone that really causes me pain… I am really in pain!!!! I am still asking myself what is wrong about me… why do I need to suffer all these pains…what did I do wrong??? Why do I need to have children without their father with them? Why am I not successful in having a good relationship…? It only answers to one thing…it’s because I fall in love…. I fall in love with a wrong person… For God sake, why am I doing this… Letting myself to be hurt by the one I truly love… Yes, you heard it right… I truly love this guy….the guy, who is married already and has 4 children….the guy whom I love since high school… I know it is wrong to love him, but what can I do? I just felt it… we always say that we are only humans… and we are not perfect… everybody commits mistakes, right??? But the thing is, we people should know when to let go and until what is our limitations… For me, I had asses myself… and I think I go beyond my limitations… that’s why, I’m hurting inside… I allow myself to let these things happen to me, and I only got me to blame… regardless of these things, I take this as a challenge… why? Because, I know I can overcome these things… because I’ve been here before… it’s just a matter of time… because I believe that time heals all wounds…

But you know, forgetting someone I love is really a hard time for me… I don’t know what is in him, that I can’t control myself from crying, every time I think of him… I am trying not to think of him anymore, but it doesn’t work… maybe because, I found in him what I am looking for… although our relationship is very complicated… and this is the reason why I decided to let him go… even if he doesn’t want to… I insisted, because I know that this is the right thing to do… and even if this hurts me a lot, I know that I made the right decision… not only for me but most of all for the children that surrounds us… I am just praying and hoping that in time I can forget everything about him… I believe that in God’s time, everything will fall into its proper places… I just hope that, this time will be soon enough… before its too late…

For now, I am very much thankful because even if I am far away from my children and family… I found a family here… a family that I can cry on… a family that accepts me for who I am without questions and hesitations…a family that understands my past…a family that pushes me to stand up again… a family that loves me unconditionally… a family which I will keep forever in my life…

Don’t be afraid to love (even if you think it’s insane)… because, from these you will learn a lot that will help you know yourself better…the more you hurt, the more stronger person you become…

So as for now, I’ll just enjoy my life being single…and live my life to the fullest….carry on, life is too short to get wasted…..mwaaaaahhhh…

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